SERGEANT': MEMBER'S EPIC POEM

 
Each week the Sergeant selects a member to add a further two lines to the poem.
The iambic metre wse are striving for is;
 
dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH
dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH 
 
 
The story so far ..…
 
This berk is running away from something, and comes upon a highly emotional woman – who he realizes is the love of his life
She challenges him with an unspecified surprise
Then tries to calm him down
But the fair couple lurch off and are confronted by 6 medieval warriors with an out of control caravan – our hero gives them a right hiding but a wheel careers off the caravan and unfortunately kills the poor lass
Rendered impotent by her sad demise, and as he’s postulating about where to bury the poor girl, her ghost rises up and implores him to revenge her tragic departure
Now he finds himself in a tricky position – as he’s telling the good lady’s ghost that he can hardly take revenge on an errant wheel, it becomes painfully apparent that our hero not only permitted the 6 medieval warriors to loosen the caravan’s wheel ~ possibly with the sole objective of fatally injuring her, but also he allowed the tort-feasing warriors to make their getaway.
Anon, he spies a nearby tavern – time for sustenance and reflection, and for new female company? But the new wench he spies, strikingly similar to his deceased beloved, his none other than her jealous twin who has, in an act of vengeful jealousy, procured the tragic  death through the agency of the escaped warriors, of her good sister.
Our hero, confronted with an alluring twin, briefly considers, then ditches,  a spiritual dilemma, choosing in preference the carnal option. 
 
And here it is;
Members’ epic poem – 2013 / 2014
He rushed around the corner – like an Afghan hound
And saw it all before him, a sight so utterly profound                          [M Bromby]
He held her hand, she tried to speak
Her emotion was high, her voice was weak                                        [B Downie]
She looked him hard into his eyes
And said: “I hope you like surprise”.                                                   [R Garrett]
 
Enough! Enough! Soothed she; he rushed around again  
As wobbly wheels and caravan defeated six strong men                       [T Callander]
A wheel shot off, the girl expired, 
He said: "from love I have retired                                                       [G Cuthbert]
Despite his urge to leave her side,
her resting place he must decide.                                                       [P Barry}
 
But her ghost arose forthwith, and said with a frown
My murderers you must seek, and shoot them down!                            [A King]
His reply to her ghost, his beloved one, he uttered most forthright
Murdered you were not, my dear - the errant wheel was the culprit that caused your horrendous plight,             [M Bromby] 
Yet, in shading the truth, words espoused could not disguise his frightful gape
For his scared face approved the scoundrels who loosened the wheel and then made their escape                 [J Cavanagh]
 
“Hark, what’s that there? An inn! A drink!
New wench, may be? I need to think.”                            [J Ilott]
The wench she doth appear the same as lady now departed
Whose secret was a twin, who jealous and cold hearted               [R Stevens]
Tore apart their love as sisters through vengeful act of spite
To hire the warriors to loose the wheel that killed
her twin outright                                                          [K Stevens]
 
Is it face or form that does excite?
Or do two souls with love unite?
Our man with ne’re a thought for trust.
Decides instead to opt for lust                                             [K Love}
                                                           
Her hot lips responded as bidden
Darcy she whispered no longer need our love be hidden
Sophia my love, you are mine
This thing we have done, let's celebrate with wine.                     [B McBain]
 
In the corner of the Inn was hidden
A witness to this kiss forbidden,
Their tainted love had been detected
With consequences unexpected                                             [N John]
 
The mean and nasty kitchen maid
Was taking a quick nap near the fire.
She thought: How dare that Sophia get laid
When everyone knows she’s such a liar?                                          [G Mackey]
So a plan the maid hatched, ’twas most heinous and nasty
A pox on Sophia and a blood curse on Darcy                                     [F O’Brien]     
The pox on Sophia was really quite easy for Darcy's past was very sleazy
Pursuit of pleasure was his mania, so next stop Transylvania, for a pleasey
                                                                                                            [H Greenwood]
Because documents and visas were needed to go
Taking Sophia would cause the journey to be too slow                               Bernie Gerlinger
He therefore took leave of the inn without a sound
To disappear into the night hoping never again to be found               Marjorie Gerlinger
Sophia though was more than his match and meant to stop him leaving this patch
She did not like being treated as crap instead she lured him into a trap  (D Jones)
 
Darcy thought he was in the clear never to be troubled again
But Sophia had other ideas and a passion that was truly insane        [R Mitchell]
For he would now rue the day on which against her he did mock
As he let them through the door, they introduced themselves as Watson and Sherlock                         [N Taylor]
A flustered Darcy scrambled for time to think, Aha! 'Good sirs, may I pour you a drink?'
Plotting more than to make them sick, the libations, gallantly proffered, contained arsenic                                          [K Harvey]
 
But before they drank, Sophia texted Darson
My ears are on fire, and I have thoughts of arson                                [Stuart Ellis]
Great Sherlock avoided both poison and flame
But with Darcy and Watson took the London bound train                    [J Price]
To Darcy’s dismay twas to Old Bailey to stay
As arsenic stained fingers gave him away”                                          [A Seale]
 
Tortured by sores and fever, in his prison cell does Darcy languish
Confinement with pederasts, murderers and thieves intensifies
 his anguish                                                                                         [N Salvano]
At last, salvation and dreams afoot, in bed prone on one hip,
Drifting to lands far away on an old wooden ship,
As a boy, he had stood on the burning deck,
After that he could not remember much more by heck.              [A Driver]
 
Time passes, thoughts wander, inner peace never comes.  But wait!!  Ronnie Biggs, Darcy’s hero
Planning, scheming, what chance of success?  Moonlight streaming, over the wall, Darcy go                                   [Russell Rolls]
He flees in the night, through London’s lane ways he hastens
And 2 months later, Darcy resurfaces - a security guard with Fortnum & Masons                           [Wolfgang Jacobs]
Darcy's a hit, the jobs a great fit, no more Sophia  to cause dismay
He gets a  choice of promotion, mens hand lotion, or lay bys in lingerie                   [Gerard Hogan]